Archive for September, 2009

Change by definition is: to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone.

Life is always changing, that is, where you are in life, your course of action, dreams, aspirations, goals, plans, everything about your life is in a constant state of change. The question is how do you respond to those changes. Are those changes good or bad, beneficial for the goals you have set for your life or damaging to those goals. The problem is you never really know what is going to happen. The uncertainty can be unsettling and yet exciting at best, depressing and terrifying at worst.

I was laid off from my full time job this past February in the midst of the worst economic depression since “The Great Depression” of the 1920s. I knew it was coming several months before it happened but there was no amount of planning I could do to prevent the devastating effects of the situation. My wife and I had talked for years about the possibility of moving to a southern climate and experiencing a different atmosphere. We had always wanted the opportunity to move to another location, somewhere warmer than Chicago. The problem is there was never any compelling circumstances for such a change. We always dreamed of a great job offer to come along, some amazing opportunity that would present itself that would be just too good to be true and we would have a pleasant and comfortable opportunity to move to another place in the world. The reality is not what we had imagined or dreamed about.

When I reflect about the past, the greatest changes always take place through pain. The birth of your children is probably the most traumatic event you face in your young adult life, yet you wouldn’t consider it a “bad” thing. Even though for the mother it is the most painful event she will ever face in her life, she will still, in most circumstances, not say that it was a negative thing. Actually quite the opposite, she would probably, again in most circumstances, say this was the greatest event of her life up to this point, especially if it is her first child. Yet there are so many painful things involved in raising children: the financial impact, the disappointments that come from the dreams you have for them, having to face the challenges of dealing with the vast amount of mental and emotional challenges they will face while they are looking to you for direction. Yet no matter the amount of pain you wouldn’t change a thing about having your children, and you wouldn’t want them any other way. Pain and heartache makes the good times so much sweeter. Suffering makes us appreciate the times of peace and prosperity. The day after I fully recover from having the flu I often think to myself that I can’t remember another time when I felt more alive or more full of energy, things taste better, smell better and taking a deep breath feels so good.

So in the light of my present sufferings I say this. Life is truly beautiful. I may be suffering at present, but very soon I will stand in my new home enjoying a very different life, appreciating the differences with eyes that see what I really have in my family and friends. Perhaps I would not have known how strong is the bond that ties us all together if I had not needed so much from my family and friends.

Thank you to all of you for standing with me, for sharing with me, for speaking to me when I am in the same room, for listening to my ramblings about so many different things, for allowing me to serve you, or for serving me when I was in need. I am truly honored to have so many friends and the suffering of my present circumstances has heightened my senses and helped me to truly see those that care for me and my family that the business of life so often clouds with trivial things.

“There is such a concept of loss. Loss and how we react to loss. We think of things in a straight line: birth-life-death. That’s not really how it works. You take those ends and you bend it into a circle so it’s birth-life-death-REbirth. So you have to be prepared when you lose something – when you go through a divorce, when your mother dies, when you lose your house you have to understand that nature has it no other way. There is a rebirth. The death is painful. It doesn’t change the pain of the death. But you gotta stay awake and stay focused for what’s the rebirth that God is about to offer you.”
- Will Smith, on Oprah 11/6/2008